2009 was a banner year here at Casa Ramrod, assuming that the banner said “Mission Accomplished” in a font called “Clueless Irony.” (Yes, I know. It’s been done.)
Nevertheless, I think I learned a few things in 2009 that may serve me well in 2010, especially if I retain the backup option of hiding under the covers. Here, then, are a few 2009 True Facts and the lessons I’ve taken from them:
True Facts: In June, I was diagnosed with small lymphocytic lymphoma/chronic lymphocytic leukemia. SLL/CLL progresses slowly and is considered indolent. So rather than start treatment, I’m engaged in “watchful waiting.”
Lessons Learned: As I already suspected from my own personal habits, “indolent” is not a bad thing. Barring meteor strikes or other accidents, then, I’ll probably live more-or-less normally for many more years. I’ll just have to regard my body as if it were a suspiciously unattended package at the airport.
True Facts: During both my endoscopy and colonoscopy, I was given a wonderful “twilight” anesthesia that made me forget the most uncomfortable and unpleasant parts of the procedures. But I was given no “twilight” during my bone-marrow biopsy, so I remember every undignified second of it. Afterward, however, I was given a snack.
Lessons Learned: Drugs are good. But so are cookies.
True Fact: On the same day that a doctor first said the word “lymphoma” to me, I received an email telling me that the movie version of my second novel would begin filming in October. This coincidence seems to indicate that God is a merry prankster.
Lesson Learned: Not really a big fan of merry pranksters, here.
True Facts: The movie did not begin filming in October. Or November. Or December. This seems to indicate that Hollywood is a merry prankster as well.
Lesson Learned: See above.
True Fact: I have an amazing spouse who always has my back despite the fact that I’m a foul-tempered old crank who’s addicted to cookies.
Lesson Learned: None. I already knew that.
True Fact: My friends aren’t half-bad, either.
Lesson Learned: Suckers.
True Fact: Throughout 2009, the first picture that popped up in a Google Images search for “Bradley Denton” was a photo of me kissing Steve Gould.
Lesson Learned: Make one mistake, and you pay for it the rest of your life.