Eat Our Brains

Our Brains

Cause With This Economy

October 23rd, 2008 by

Steven Gould

…you never know.

Once you find a spot, try to arrive late at night, and leave before 7am. This will draw as little attention as possible to yourself.

Another place to sleep relatively safely at night are rooftops of public buildings.

Avoid bumping into the New Yorkers. They will bump you back. It isn’t pleasant.

Avoid wearing sandals or flip-flops, and high-hills. If, on your way there’s a rock, you may trip on it, fall or even die, hit by a car. USE TENNIS SHOES!

Buy backup batteries for your laptop to continue working until you can reach civilization.

Be prepared for requests. People who request songs can be annoying, especially if you play originals, but they also tend to pay you. It’s good to know some covers, and if you can’t play the exact song someone requests, offer a similar tune or one by the same artist.

You might have to stop for directions. If you do, try to ask an elderly person, preferably a woman, because there is less of a chance an older person will try to rob or attack you.

Are they all there? Count your chickens every day, especially if you have more than ten.

If pants are equipped, carefully zip them once you are done. Careless zipper operation especially in males can cause great pain.

Your Government will likely set up “public shelters” for people to ride out the impact aftermath. Do Not go to these shelters. They are a perfect place for disease to spread and crime will be rampant in these places. If however, you cannot be evacuated from near the impact site, you will have to go into a nuclear bunker that you may have to share. If you are far away from the impact, making your own shelter out of a windowless room in your house or out of a cellar is the best option.

Just sayin’.

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