Iâ€™m in some sort of hole now, I think. The walls are stone and dirt, and thereâ€™s a huge damn boulder blocking the only way out.
The light in here is messed up. Itâ€™s over my head somewhere, but I canâ€™t see it; it moves out of sight, no matter which way I turn. Itâ€™s barely bright enough for me to write in this journal until I feel strong enough to do the next thing.
I donâ€™t know how I got here. The last thing I remember is endless, exhausted agony. Then nothingness.
I was just about dead for awhile. But I got better.
The Old Man told me it was going to be tough, but I had the moxie to take over this territory. The Italians are getting lazy and soft, he said. With his help behind the scenes, I recruited the dozen smartest peeps around. Then we started organizing from the ground up. It was working. Everybody loved me, thought I was the greatest thing since sliced challah. The Old Man said we were all going to go totally legit. No more of the killing that he’d done constantly to claw his way up to the top. Said I was like a son to him, that one day Iâ€™d run it all.
Then one of my most trusted peeps turned me over to the Italians.
Yeah, Ponty and his soldiers got me. I remember now. Ponty thinks heâ€™s gonna wash his hands for doing me in. Oh, it wasnâ€™t my idea, he said to me. Your people made me do it. Wrong. Theyâ€™re all just a bunch of sheep, and I am the shepherd. I know who nailed me. I ainâ€™t done with any of them.
I feel stronger now. My hands donâ€™t hurt so much, and my feet have stopped bleeding. Iâ€™ve been pushing against the boulder and I can feel it moving a few inches. I worked construction most of my life. I may look like a pansy, but Iâ€™m tough enough to last three days nailed to a piece of wood. And still kick some ass afterwards.
Iâ€™m going to get out of this hole. Iâ€™m going to hike into town and find that weasel Judas, and show everybody what happens to snitches.
After that â€“ I gotta take out the Old Man. Yeah, I know who set me up. I realized heâ€™d double-crossed me while I was nailed up. I canâ€™t figure out what his plan was, seems like nobody ever can. But I know he was behind it all. He’s always behind everything that goes on. I think he just canâ€™t let go, make room for the new generation.
And he always liked the killing.
Heâ€™s been hiding out, thinks nobody knows where he is. But I do. Iâ€™m gonna make him vanish permanent-like. Never be seen again, never heard from again.
First, though, I get with my peeps and get my organization set to roll even while Iâ€™m gone. Big Peteâ€™s ready to take it to the next level. Been organizing to spread the word, go intercontinental. Manâ€™s like a rock.
Those greasy wops think they can hang onto their turf. I have soldiers, too — more every day. And weâ€™ve already started infiltrating to take over from the inside. Itâ€™s just a matter of time until my organization owns it all, no matter how ruthless we have to be. No more nice guys.
Judas. Ponty. The Old Man. They all thought I was soft like a bunny. They’re gonna find out just how hard-boiled I am.
After I take out the Old Man, Iâ€™ll need to stay on the down-low till things cool out.
But Iâ€™ll be back.