As you may have heard, I write stuff. Which very often means I research stuff first. The dirty secret of writing is that the research is often the most fun part of the process–you’re allowed to ask any number of questions, and people will answer you. I once spent two hours on the phone with a New York City criminal lawyer, asking questions about lawyer-client conferences on Riker’s Island (it’s nothing like you see on Law and Order). Highly billable hours, which this guy gave me for free because I was writing a book. He got a thank you, I got to know More Stuff. Because people love to be asked about what they do, since what they do is likely to fascinate them too. You can talk you way into some nifty places with the words “I’m writing a book,” really.

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Acephalous, a science blogger, is doing an experiment on how fast a meme travels across the internet. To participate, create a link to Acephalous’s post on your website or blog, and then ping Technorati. It’s all in the name of science, and science is good. So, beeeee goooooood…

Update: Here’s some more on the spread of memes across the internet. Go here to watch a meme tree grow, and here for more — including some cool and useful graphics — on search bots and spamnation.

Spam pie, anyone?

Or how about some nice bushy Yahoo Slurp search results?

As Morgan has pushed the pendulum away from politics and back to beauty, I offer this work of Art.

I’m currently working on a post about humans and the planet, inspired by Maureen’s post. But meanwhile, for your viewing pleasure, something beautiful (via Judith Tarr)

(Hey, uh, Stevie, can you show me how to embed a YouTube thingie?)

So there is this WikiHow article on the above subject and I’m going to take a stab at using it to deal with a specific impossible person.

1 Recognize that impossible people exist…

()

2 Be aware that some people simply aren’t compatible…

(Like George and over half of the country.)

3 Understand that it’s not you, it’s them.

(I’m gonna call this one a gimmee.)

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You wouldn’t be hitting EoB if you didn’t appreciate smart, witty writing by smart, witty people.

That’s why, if you’ve inexplicably missed it so far, you’ll appreciate the fiction of Martha Wells. She writes with grace and concision, creating worlds unlike others you’ve read. Her characters are flashing quick, with ironic wit that will pierce your eyes. If words ever failed me, they would do so now. She’s good at what she does.

She’s generously posted on-line the entire text of her first novel:

The Element of Fire

I’d be neglecting your welfare if I didn’t mention that you can also command to be printed a paper copy of the book from Lulu. Paper is really what books are all about, us Net-heads to the contrary. And it’ll be easier for you to re-read it in a few years when all that remains is the memory of how much you enjoyed it.

The Element of Fire is justly considered a classic in the field. I will not risk over-selling it to you. You’re big, you know what turns you on. You can go to her site and try it out for free. When you’re done, then you can see about buying her other books.

You may want to consider perusing the rest of her site, as it’s packed with more chewy nuggets. She also actively maintains an open LiveJournal, and discusses the writing process in detail, as well as responding to specific questions.

I feel a need to make something pellucidly clear here. Martha is my friend, has been for several decades.

I’m not doing her a favor by mentioning her work today.

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This is the light switch cover in my office. My daughter (Twilight Ninja Girl) got it for her birthday but I have the only dual-throw light switch on our lot. (I say on our lot because my office is a separate building from the house — I’ll blog about it in the future.) So I ended up with the cover.

As you can see it’s got glitter and glue and this thing pasted on it with flying saucers and this motto. Looking at the bottom edge I saw this:

And I realized slowly that this was a paperback cover. (There are people out there who are going “You idiot, hadn’t you ever heard of Donald Keyhoe?”)

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I confess. I’m fascinated by odd stuff. I like reading about viruses and horrific bacterial diseases. Right now I’m reading a book called Pox: Genius, Madness, and the Mysteries of Syphilis by Deborah Hayden. (I figure they’ll make it into a Broadway show someday called, Pox! The Musical.)

And I’m dying to get to the Mutter Museum.

FYI, The Mutter Museum was a teaching museum established in 1858 and attached to the College of Physicians of Philadelphia. It has copious displays of the most amazing medical anomalies you’re ever going to see. I have a book about it. I’ve seen TV specials on it. I’ve bought the calendars they used to produce with fantastic pictures of some of the most extreme medical deformities you’re ever likely to see. It’s got to be the coolest place ever.

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I first knocked on Professor James E. Gunn’s office door in Wescoe Hall when I was an undergraduate at the University of Kansas. I think I was twenty.

Professor Gunn’s door was open. He was at his desk, typing on a Selectric. I had heard its rat-a-tat sound all the way down the corridor. So I hesitated before knocking, because the man was obviously working. But these were his office hours, so . . . I knocked.

He stopped typing and invited me to sit in the chair beside his desk. Then he extracted a manuscript from a pile on the far side of the desktop – the manuscript of a story I had submitted in hopes of being admitted to his advanced fiction writing class – and he proceeded to go through it line by line, paragraph by paragraph, explaining everything that was wrong with it.

As it turned out, there was a lot wrong with it.

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Apparently the Complaints Choir of Helsinki was an offshoot of this British project. Besides the original and the one in Helsinki, there have also been choirs in Hamburg and St. Petersburg. Cause, after all, complaining is universal.

• Why does my computer take so very long?
• Why can’t the bus driver talk to anyone
• And why is the beer so expensive in town?
• I want my money back
• My job is like a cul-de-sac
• And the bus is too infrequent at 6:30
• Why don’t they pay me more
• Life was good before
• And I am thirsty

Video here.

Me, I’m not complaining. In fact, I’m thankful for stuff like this (and to Pat Cadigan for pointing to it.)

Worth 1000 photoshopping contest: gross-out banquets for Thanksgiving. (via BoingBoing).

(Warning–they mean it when they say “gross-out.”)