I got nothin today, the synapses are misfiring; you know the drill. So I thought I’d blow up a planet for y’all instead.
Seriously, this guy knows from planetary destruction. His list of methods for destroying the Earth made the rounds a while back, but it’s such a classic that it bears revisitation. My personal fave is:
Whipped by a cosmic string
You will need: a cosmic string and a whole lotta luck
Method: Cosmic strings are hypothetical 1-dimensional defects in spacetime, left over from earlier phases of the universe, somewhat like cracks in ice. They are potentially universe-spanning objects, thinner than a proton but with unimaginable density – one Earth mass per 1600m of length! All you need to do is get a cosmic string near Earth, and it’ll be torn apart, shredded, and sucked in. Probably the entire rest of the solar system would be too.
Earth’s final resting place: String.
Feasibility rating: 1/10. Mind-bogglingly unlikely. Even if cosmic strings do exist, which they may not, there are probably only about ten of them left in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. And they can’t be steered, unless you have godlike powers, in which case you might as well chuck the Earth into the Sun and have done with it, so you’re relying entirely on luck. This. Will. Never. Happen.
Source: this method suggested by Dan Winston.
Check it out. It is a handy way to put life into perspective.
Update: I’m a reader at heart, and prefer text, but he has put together an earth destruction instruction video, if you prefer multimedia.