To My Fellow True Christian Conservatives,

I’m writing to you today to warn you of a great threat to our American values and way of life. You may know that this country will soon hold elections to determine the Presidency and Vice-Presidency of the United States of America.

We all understand that the Democrat Party is Satan’s tool and that Hussein Obama is a Muslim. Therefore, they are to be shunned.

Recent polls indicate that 40% of you plan to vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin, and that 10% of you are undecided.

These poll numbers show that many True Christian Conservatives have been deceived by what is known as ‘spin’.  You know the facts, but clever re-interpretations of their meanings have caused you to be unable to accurately evaluate their implications.

As your Spiritual Leader, it is my duty to inform you of the Truth, as disturbing as that Truth may be.

THE TRUTH ABOUT JOHN MCCAIN:

We have all along suspected that John McCain isn’t a True Christian Conservative. None of us knows what church he actually attends or who his Spiritual Leader is, if any. We do know these things:

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1. When he was young and impressionable, he enjoyed a free residence in an elite Hilton hotel for several years, maintained by a government that was at war with the United States. A Non-Christian government. He was given free room and board and all the amenities offered by this government. He has been understandably reluctant to speak on this issue, and has never apologized to the American people for this behavior. What sorts of non-Christian beliefs did they teach him during this time?
2.  Of particular concern to all of you True Christian Conservative Young Republicans, he deliberately and voluntarily joined the military during a time of war, rather than finding more important things to do with his life. He is NOT LIKE YOU.
3. He is known to frequently engage in gambling with dice. He has never sought out spiritual counseling for this. As we know, Roman soldiers gambled with dice for Jesus’s belongings beneath the Cross while He was dying for our sins. Why has John McCain chosen this evil pastime?
4. Most telling of all, he is known to personally dislike Our Savior George W. Bush and has voted against him as a Senator at least 10% of the time.

THE TRUTH ABOUT SARAH PALIN:

She has tried to portray herself as a True Christian Conservative. However, she deliberately chose to begin her political career in one of the most distant and thinly-populated states, where it would be harder for us to properly watch her.

1. She has not been proven to have ever killed a single human being. George W. Bush proved that he actually enjoys killing sinners while he was the Governor of the State of Texas, presiding over 152 executions. He won our hearts by laughingly mocking the pleas for clemency by the murderer Karla Faye Tucker. Palin is believed to enjoy killing animals. However, we do not know whether she will kill humans who have transgressed. This is a basic requirement for someone who may potentially wield the awesome power of the Presidency of the United States. It’s even possible that she did not enjoy killing animals, and merely did so as a political ploy to fool us into believing that she will enjoy killing humans if given the power to do so.
2. She was, properly, blessed and offered protection against witchcraft by Pastor Thomas Muthee. HOWEVER, she has never spoken publicly to accept this on-going protection. This can only be viewed as a repudiation. It is therefore likely that she has been tainted by witches, and may even have become a witch herself. As we all know, witchcraft is the fastest growing so-called ‘religion’ in the world, and poses a greater threat to our way of life than Islamo-Fascism. Her unusually rapid rise in politics may well have been caused by witchcraft, rather than by the blessing of God. Evidence of this:
3. She has been universally hailed as the VPILF (You don’t need to know exactly what these initials stand for). This title was bestowed upon her by many otherwise upright True Christian Conservatives. She is an unnaturally beautiful and sexual being who thrusts her womanliness upon men as if it were a weapon. Her perky, upturned nose, her sparkling eyes, her generous and giving mouth, her lithe, tight body, her deliciously curved loins…. But you see what I mean. She has led, and continues to lead, many men into impure thoughts. She is a harlot and a Jezebel. And quite possibly a witch.
4. Now that she has ascended to the national stage, she has avoided public appearances, thus making it much more difficult for those of us with keen noses for witchcraft to ‘smell her out’. If she is indeed a witch, and is part of their evil plans, it is entirely possible that one of her children, or the illegitimate child that she caused her daughter to be impregnated with, MAY BE THE ANTI-CHRIST.

SO – WHAT IS A TRUE CHRISTIAN CONSERVATIVE TO DO?

It’s self-evident that the Democrat Party and Hussein Obama are evil. But, as we now know, John McCain and Sarah Palin are also evil.

As a great man once said, “If you vote for the lesser of two evils, you’re still voting for evil.” Your duty as True Christian Conservatives is to vote for neither of these evils.

Some might say that you should decline to vote this year. That is wrong.

You must write in your vote for the Presidency and Vice-Presidency of the United States. As your Spiritual Leader, I leave it up to you to pray for divine guidance regarding the names you should write in.

Please remember that Our Savior George W. Bush, due to foolish laws enacted long ago, cannot serve as President for another term. However, he CAN serve as Vice-President under a President who would be a Spiritual Leader for True Christian Conservatives.

Your Spiritual Leader,

Rev. W.R. Harper

President

True Christian Conservative Church, Inc.

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