I apologize for not posting more regularly. One of the reasons was that I went to Mexico City. I also went here.

This is a view of the Pyramid of the Moon

From on top of

the Pyramid of the Sun.

We climbed all those steps. The altitude is over 7500 feet. Wheezer Geezers!

My goodness, but this is extremely cool. Given global warming and the price of fuel, it’s undeniably self-indulgent to the point of Gaia abuse to fantasize about owning my own jetpack. But I can’t help it; I’m a sucker for fly-tech.

Inventor Glenn Martin has created a real, honest-to-guru working prototype of a jetpack, which recently took its first voyage at a flying contraptions fair in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

Click on the image to watch the video and read about it at the Chicago Tribune.

(That, btw, is his 16-year-old son Harrison piloting it, neatly settling the debate over whether or not having an inventor for a parent is Teh Coolest! Thing! Evar!)

I’m excited to be posting today because I’ve stumbled upon an idea that I believe will solve multiple problems that have proved intractable up until now.

First, there’s a terrible organ donor shortage that grows worse each year. People are dying needlessly, and I’m getting old enough that I’m fearful that I might be one of them. Considering the damage I’ve done to myself over the past decades, I’m likely to need a full-body transplant before much longer, and that’s not going to happen unless a lot more organs become available.

To begin, we need to make it so that organ donation is an ‘opt-out’ situation rather than ‘opt-in’. Currently, you need to file paperwork to consent to being an organ donor, and preferably to have this stated on your driver’s license, in case something abrupt and unpleasant occurs. This is completely ass-backwards. Research shows that shortly after death, most of us become unconcerned about what happens to our bodies. The default state should be ‘strip me to the bone, and then suck the marrow out’.

Also, according to the Mayo Clinic link above, about a third of consenting organ donors have their wishes over-ridden by relatives. These poor families are in the throes of grief, and shouldn’t be forced to make such important decisions at this juncture. It’s too much of a burden for them. Cut them out of the decision-making loop, I say.

According to this CDC table, about 0.8% of the US population dies each year. Since our population is a bit over 300 million, this is 2.4 million bodies, almost all of which are going to waste.

Let’s admit that many of these won’t be suitable donors, as a result of extreme age, endemic disease states, and so on. A quick glance at the CDC info indicates that probably only a third of the bodies will be usable. However, just this simple change to ‘opt-out’ will provide a massive oversupply of donors.

So, what to do with all those extra bodies, you ask?

: Read More »

Thanks to the kindness of ‘persky’, who has actually memorized all of our posts here, word for word, and sent me a typed copy of them, we can begin to recover the Sacred Works that were lost in our recent server crash. I’ll be posting them over the next day or so, along with the comments. The original posters will likely have to re-add the associated graphics.

Mucho props and big sloppy wet kisses to persky!!!!

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This is so obvious that I’m amazed that we haven’t done it before.

Maybe we haven’t because it’s so obvious…

And I swear to Romero that I didn’t hit Google and notice that there are 2,800 hits for the phrase ‘Zombie Haiku’ before I wrote this.

:

Erin’s at the door

She’s making more mac and cheese

Needs a cup of brains

:

Since zombies can’t swim

We thought the island was safe

But the damned things float

:

My son’s doctor said

Teen zombie ADHD

Is cured by shotguns

:

Being eaten hurts

Sadly, you don’t have a choice

Vicodin might help

:

Safe sex with zombies

Requires more than a condom

Abstinence is best

:

No motorcycle?

Don’t say I didn’t warn you

Now you’re really screwed

:

Zombie politics –

When we’re the majority

You’ll see some real change

:

Your touch has grown cold

The romance has died, my dear

Kiss my flamethrower

:

Your brain smells soooo good

I’m allergic to shampoo

Shave your head for me?

:

I just now noticed

That Republican undead

All look like McCain

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Okay, fine — so they’re not all staggering works of genius. Let’s see you do better.

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And – Here’s a bonus haiku just for you:

I’m not a zombie

But food is scarce since the plague

You smell better each day

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I’m going to try to start restoring some of our lost posts tonight, if I can keep my ADHD self focused for long enough.

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In the meantime, I commend Don Was’s site to you. He’s a long-time famous music producer and musician, and the site has a zillion videos of various recording sessions posted.

Perhaps my favorite among them is ‘I’m Coming Home’, by the marquee-friendly band Jackshit.

It rocks hard, with a tasty guitar solo. I am in love with the sound the bassist is getting.

And the drummer, who apparently just climbed right off the tractor to cut his part, has a slammin’ solo, too. Click the pic for more.

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Everybody already knows about this, but just in case you’ve managed to forget, Joss Whedon’s latest project lifts off in two days.

I’ve been waiting for months for this.

Please help us to overload and crash his servers on Tuesday.

Click the pic for a preview and more info.

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In my fifty years, I have encountered only one person whom I have deliberately, unequivocally, and publicly cut out of my life.

That person then completely (and blessedly) vanished from my personal radar for eighteen years.

Some of my fellow Brainiacs, and some of our visitors, will recall this individual as well – or will after I describe him. Thought he was gone, didn’t you?

Well, thanks to the Internet, he’s back. So this is the latest and greatest reason why I don’t like the Internet. (Oh, sure, I use it. Here I am using it right now. However, as I’ve noted before: I don’t like cars, but I know how to drive. And I don’t like guns, but I know how to shoot. Life in the modern world often requires unpleasant compromises.)

What was the deal with this guy? And why did you shun him so utterly? many of you are wondering.

I’ll attempt to explain.

According to the American Psychiatric Association (as quoted on Wikipedia – a dubious source, but since it’s on the g***amn Internet, an appropriate reference point), a person must display three out of the following seven criteria to be diagnosed with “antisocial personality disorder” (that is, to be considered what a layman such as myself would call a “sociopath”):

1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;

2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;

3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;

4. Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;

5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others;

6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;

7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

The only one of these characteristics that this guy didn’t clearly display (from my admittedly non-professional vantage point) was Number 4.

But as for the rest – you better believe it. Six out of seven.

Add in a pretty high level of insidious personal charm, and you’ve got Poison.

Read More »

As I return to Eat Our Brains after an absence of a few weeks, I’m also announcing the return of my novel LAUGHIN’ BOY as a trade paperback.  It’s available for preorder from Wheatland Press right this minute.  The stunning cover art is by Darin Bradley.

LAUGHIN’ BOY was originally published as a limited-edition hardcover by Subterranean Press in 2005.  It was a gorgeous book, and it sold out . . . but its cover price and small print run meant that a lot of potential readers didn’t see it.  So I’m beyond delighted that Wheatland Press is now publishing this less-expensive but equally beautiful edition.

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“[Laughin’ Boy] is one of the funniest novels of the past decade.”

                                  — John Clute in SciFi Weekly (SciFi.com)

Oh, look!  Super Zombies.  I’m kinda grooving on Captain America’s new look.  How about you?  And he’s racing out, looking for Super Brains.Perhaps he wants his:

or those of Brainiac’s non-evil descendant:

Maybe it’s not so much super powers as super thinking

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One thing’s for sure: they’re not going to be looking for these guys:

Happy Fourth, Brainiacs.

… Brains only backed up to June 14th.

We’ve had a problem at our Hosting service and lost three weeks of posts and comments. I will be hunting them up using google caches and wayback scenarios but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get everything. I’m particulary concerned that we recover all the zombie haiku from the comments of Rory’s zombie haiku post.

Otherwise, the very history of zombie literature and poetry may be affected leading to to a limbic imbalance.

Oh, well, at least our tech support guy, Jeremy, told us a good zombie joke that he saw over on bash.com.

Q: What do vegan zombies say?

A: Graaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnnsssssss.