As you’re reading this I’m off celebrating the season with the Tribe, known elsewhere as my in-laws. It will be noisy and confusing; also warm and loving. Chaos, headaches, good cheer, and barely contained outbursts will be interspersed among the hugs. You know the drill. Maybe you’re reading this as a brief respite from your own family turmoil and joy. Or maybe you’re ignoring the whole deal entire.

I’m aware that not everyone does the Christmas Thing. I’m aware that some would do it, but don’t have the proper equipment for it: snow, Dickensian fireplaces, enough fellow Christmas-shippers to support a groaning board of food. To help you out, I present A Virtual Yule Log. Feeling more Holidayish now?

Okay, above you have a Flaming Plum Pudding. How about a big Christmas Dinner?

And of course, presents under the Tree:

I wish, for all those celebrating, all those things in person, to their liking. To those not into the Christmas thing, may your day be Fine as Frog Hair, regardless. See a movie, eat some Chinese, do whatever you like to do while the rest of us are indulging.

And finally a little something for those who abjure Kris Kringle and all his works: Law and Chickens. Ka-ching (or maybe Buk-Buk)