…to be Zombies!

Avocado, the Daughter Formerly Known as Younger Girl, is going out to the East Bay tomorrow to trick or treat with her best bud Elizabeth. Avocado is going as a Zombie Bride:

Her friend Elizabeth is going as a Zombie Prom Queen. Last weekend Avocado got second place at the skating rink’s Halloween party; I had cut her trailing bits shorter lest she skate up her own shreds and shred herself, and she looked pretty adorably sinister.

Meanwhile, Sarcasm Girl had decided to go as Hell on Wheels: she’s taking her old Razor scooter to school, wearing a black shirt with the seven deadly sins written on it, and wearing devil horns. It’s both a wonderful thing and a pain in the butt to have a creative child, since I was the one who had to find the shirt and fabric paint and horns and spirit gum and write the names of the sins all over the shirt. But she is a cesspool of whimsy, my child, and will doubtless terrify her teachers.

You only have to glance at their faces to know that they died long ago.

But they just refuse to lie down and be quiet.

Unlike so many other movies in the genre, this one is a true story. It’s ghastly beyond belief, and I’m impressed that Martin Scorsese, one of our great film-makers, has finally realized the importance of the zombie threat.

Due out next April, I think. Probably will trigger another outbreak. Rachael and I should have the flamethrowers mounted on our bikes by then.

At Wonderoom, Mirrorneuron writes:

So there’s wads of hair in my shower. Little mini-nests of artistic awareness. A tiny museum with one patron. Yes, I could just clean the shower. I know this. Actually, I bleached the living hell out of it not long ago. But the hair made a reappearance. It keeps reappearing. We lose 100 hairs a day on average, even if we have no iron deficiency and extra stress. We also grow 5 cm of finger and toe nail a year so with all the digits together that’s a meter of nail extruding from our bodies annually. And the skin cells, dear god the skin cells! We lose 30,000 to 40,000 skin cells every minute. Nine pounds a year. 70% of household dust is skin cells. The next time you’re dusting that grey stuff off your favorite knicknack…remember it’s mostly dead matter thrust out of your epidermis. We are surrounded by pieces of ourselves. Like zombies, parts of our bodies fall off as we go about our business.

I wish I could write essays like this.  I certainly chose my fellow bloggers for their ability to write in this vein.

I  remember in school when I’d say, “I’ve got an essay.” It was a lot like saying “I’ve got a virus and it has really disgusting symptoms.” Well, that was my experience anyway. But Mirrorneuron makes it look effortless. Makes it look effortless–I’ve certainly heard complaints. “My writing sucks. I hate this. It takes forever to write something!” Welcome to real writing, M.