Last night, I called Rachael at the tattoo shop. I said, “Hey, Daughter of Darkness, get on the Net. I have a cool thing to show you.”

She said, “You bought a motorcycle today, didn’t you? Yay!”

Rachael is awesomely intuitive.

My new toy transportation device is a 1999 Honda Shadow 750cc American Classic Edition (A.C.E.). This model is The One, if you want a mid-sized Cruiser, and I have non-secretly lusted for a Shadow 750 since last Summer. They get amazing reviews for functionality, handling, low maintenance, and good looks. (Like me.)

I was planning to put off a purchase until about September, when I’d hopefully be in better physical condition and have enough money saved up. But the obsession took over, I started lackadaisically surfing the Net for bikes, just for fun, and there’s a new College Station CraigsList.

One of the cats pee’d on my feet Saturday morning at 7:30, which woke me up grumpy and way too early. I sat down in front of the computer with a cup of coffee at 7:45. The bike had been posted for sale at 7:34. I was their first caller, and got primary dibs.

This is yet another reason to have cats, and to be grateful for the blessed Toxoplasma.

Troyce took me over to look at it yesterday at five, we kicked tires, he rode it around the apartment complex. Shameful lust consumed me.

I paid $2,300 for it. It’s definitely a used bike that’s been banged around some. (Again, like me.) It’s obviously been knocked over at least once. (Don’t say it….) The front and rear turn signals have been removed, and the speedometer and mileage meters don’t work, indicating electrical problems. It needs a new rear tire, and maybe a new sprocket. It’ll need new side-mirrors, and probably a carb job. It still looks remarkably handsome. The pic at the top of this post is the actual bike.

I rolled the dice on near-term repair costs. Bikes like this one, in good condition, go for $3,500 to $4,000 on Craigslist and Ebay, and are never situated in College Station.

Troyce and I believe that it’ll take between $700 and $1,000 to bring it completely up to spec and eager to get in the wind. This is about what I always ended up paying for any single repair for my crappy past automobiles, incidentally.

Troyce and Martha brought it over to my place this morning. Many thanks to them both! It’s effing huge, especially when parked next to my little scooter.

Because I bought it too soon, I’m gonna be squeezing my dollars for the rest of this season, and working hard to get strong and slender. I simply can’t ride it now, and won’t be able to for at least two months, maybe three.

And I really, really, REALLY want to ride this bike.

This means that our plan for group survival throughout the next zombie infestation is on for sure. The Shadow 750 is big enough to mount a machine gun on it, to go with the flamethrower. Once we get past the hectic first few minutes, Rach and I can hook up in Bastrop, or maybe Dripping Springs. We all need to work out a common meeting place, and Rach and I will protect the caravan to Mad’s old house. We’ll all survive until the worst is over.

Food will probably get scarce at some point.

So we should all pack lotsa delicious cornbread and beans.

There were a couple of years, after my family got back from Venezuela, when we were probably damn poor. Being a child, and being me, I was largely oblivious to it. I existed inside books, and libraries were my home. But looking back, I suspect that my parents were achingly desperate through much of that time.

I don’t know the causes for it all, because my parents were stoics, and did a better job of shielding us children than I’ve done with mine. But at least some part occurred as a result of my dad going through terribly debilitating back problems. It seems to be genetic, as I also survived a similar agony-filled period when in my thirties. My sister apparently suffered with the same progression. A couple of spinal disks slowly disintegrated, meaning that bare nerves no longer had a cushion to prevent them from rubbing against things that nerves should never be rubbed against.

The first time it happened to me, it felt like I’d been shot. I fell down and couldn’t get up for an hour. After half a dozen or so years of codeine and lopsided, careful limping, the disks evaporated completely and the spinal vertebrae fused. Less flexibility, but no more being shot in the back.

I have childhood memories of dinners frequently being composed of cornbread and beans. You could feed a family of four for less than a dollar on them. Maybe it wasn’t about the money. Mom was a great cook, and maybe it wasn’t about the money.

Because I have fond memories of those dinners, and cornbread and beans are still among my favorite foods.

In 2001, my weight got so out of control that I hit 249 pounds. I was bloated and miserable and lumbering. For a lot of reasons, I finally dropped the weight. I cut my calorie consumption in half and started walking for an hour a day, every day, and did stretching and crunching and weight-lifting. In six months, I was down to 184 pounds, strong and agile, and felt like I’d dropped twenty years from my age in the process. I was shaped like an inverted tee. Women started glancing at me again.

During that time, I ate cornbread and beans for most dinners, and never felt deprived. I still love the taste, and they staved off protein hunger for me. Sometimes I’d pig out and have two bowls. Yum.

Then I slipped back above 220 pounds. Just not paying attention, enjoying food too much. Three and a half months in the wheelchair, and I’m over 250 pounds. I’m weak, and fatter than I’ve even been. I’m ready for change.

By the end of this year, I’ll be back down under 200.

I started eating cornbread and beans again yesterday. Dammit, they taste good.

I also started stretching exercises, because I need to get both of my legs back to functionality before I can walk any real distance.

Besides the obvious health and appearance benefits, I am completely motivated to get slender and strong again.

I’ll tell you the happy reason why, in my next post, later today.

Lotsa blogging from me today, as I have lots of things on my mind.

But first, click the pic for today’s vid at Metacafe:

Science demonstration. Mixing corn starch and water produces a non-Newtonian fluid which has both the properties of a solid and a liquid. Great fun for kids of all ages.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I can’t remember which left-wing science blog I saw this on last week. (Is there such a thing as a right-wing science blog? I mean, a real science blog.)

Playing with corn starch inevitably leads to this mind-boggling real-world application.

The geek version of firewalking.

We need to do this at the upcoming EOB Board Meeting, as part of our initiation ritual. Group tattoos shortly thereafter, of course.