Another Senseless Rock and Roll Tragedy
May 17th, 2007 by 
Bradley Denton
This is Tillie.
Tillie thought she was cool. Tillie thought she could handle the rock’n'roll lifestyle. She thought she could handle the sex, the drugs, and the endless kibble.
But Tillie was wrong.
She couldn’t handle the sex, because she was “fixed” and didn’t know what it was.
And she couldn’t handle the drugs, because the rabies shots made her drowsy.
So that left the kibble. And the rawhide. And the rock’n'roll.
Well, look at Tillie now. Tripping on the brown Eukanuba. Stoned on the Milk Bone.
Waiting on a belly rub that may never come.
So, parents, teach your puppies well.
If they ask for corn, beware. And if they ask for sweet potatoes, hold an intervention.
Because the next thing you know, they’ll dig a groove at an Allman Brothers show and wind up eating a peach. Or they’ll hound Van Morrison for some Tupelo honey. Or they’ll track Arlo Guthrie to Alice’s Restaurant for a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat. Or they’ll wag their tails to get backstage at a Rolling Stones gig so they can chew on some old leather.
They might even join a band of their own, go to the Caribbean to play reggae, and come back as –
DOGGIE ZOMBIES WHO WANT TO EAT YOUR BRAINS!
Or, really, anything else you have handy.
Posted in Brad, Horror, Maureen, Music, Pop. Culture, Zombies | 
12 Comments »
May 17th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Hey! One of those zombies is MY doggy zombie. What the hell did you do to my dog, Denton?
May 17th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
mwahahaha … we told you we’d take care of her, didn’t we?
May 17th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Barb,
I leave my dog with y’all for a couple of days . . . damn . . .
May 17th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Children of the Night!
May 17th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
AHHHHHHHHH
May 18th, 2007 at 8:31 am
please allow me to introduce my self
i’m a mutt of wealth and taste.
I’ve been scratch-en my long, long ears
chewed many a mans soles and plates
I was around when the mailman
had his moment of dought and pain
made damn sure that kitty cat
got washed after being sprayed
please to meet you
hope you call my name
May 18th, 2007 at 11:54 am
I’m packing to head off to the forest now, so don’t have much brain to spare for this.
But it made me larf a lot.
However, the pic at the end of your post is just further evidence that World War Z is just around the corner. And in the back yard.
Rachael and I are still accepting donations to help modify our motorcycles (well, motor-scooter for me, actually) so that we can mount shotguns and flame-throwers on them.
May 18th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
They hunt in packs…The Vombie Hounds of Hell.
May 18th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Seriously, y’all gotta quit freebasing Science Diet. I mean it.
May 18th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Evil zombie dogs. Woof. Damn, y’all are *harsh*.
May 19th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Sympathy For The Devil Dog!
May 20th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
*gasp* NOOOO!! Must protect Tasha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
… okay, I’m done freaking out now.