This is Tillie. 

Tillie thought she was cool.  Tillie thought she could handle the rock’n'roll lifestyle.  She thought she could handle the sex, the drugs, and the endless kibble.

But Tillie was wrong. 

She couldn’t handle the sex, because she was “fixed” and didn’t know what it was. 

And she couldn’t handle the drugs, because the rabies shots made her drowsy.

So that left the kibble.  And the rawhide.  And the rock’n'roll.

Well, look at Tillie now.  Tripping on the brown Eukanuba.  Stoned on the Milk Bone.

Waiting on a belly rub that may never come.

So, parents, teach your puppies well.

If they ask for corn, beware.  And if they ask for sweet potatoes, hold an intervention.

Because the next thing you know, they’ll dig a groove at an Allman Brothers show and wind up eating a peach.   Or they’ll hound Van Morrison for some Tupelo honey.  Or they’ll track Arlo Guthrie to Alice’s Restaurant for a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat.  Or they’ll wag their tails to get backstage at a Rolling Stones gig so they can chew on some old leather.

They might even join a band of their own, go to the Caribbean to play reggae, and come back as –

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