I was in Italy last week, and our host made some lovely stuff with zucchini, onions, basil and tomatoes. I think fresh basil and garlic are heavenly.

I cook with them for my tall and beautiful brunette who married me in spite of my scifi tendencies, and for my children who knock the noodles off the backs of the chairs where I have spread them out on towels.

When it first came out, I was lucky enough to be in the audience when it premiered at the Greenway Plaza theater, which was the art-house theater in Houston then.

After the movie, L.Q. Jones, the director, stood up in front and talked and took questions from the audience.

It was great. It would have been perfect if a tall gorgeous blonde had been serving me some ragu during the screening.

Maybe I can arrange something like that if they ever show it at the Alamo Drafthouse.

There’s a blond woman in our neighborhood I call Beef Jerky Woman. She jogs obsessively. And in the summer when it’s 90+ degrees, she wears long sleeve shirts because she has no freaking body fat.

Nobody should ever want to be the blonde, especially not someone as adorable as you, Maureen.

Homemade pasta is really good, isn’t it.

When I make homemade pasta I do it in a flurry of flour, with kids coming in to haltingly turn the crank on the pasta machine so that the stuff comes out in uneven thicknesses. It is not glamorous. It is tasty, though. And the redhead would almost certainly swoon with distaste.

i FORGOT that bob was a drummer…that means we can jam, too

You make it and I’ll come over and eat it.

Eff the blond. I’m short brunette stack of assorted orbs, but who cares? I just wear good perfume and turn the lights off when I get self-conscious.

I know that the blond doesn’t exist. I’m just, you know, pretentious and pathetic. But it has led to some pretty good ragu.

But your fabulous sauce is the real deal.

And your husband DOES look at you that way — just when you’re not looking.