Guest Blog: Crispin Glover walk with me, or taking my pants off for the Wizard of Gore
April 10th, 2007 by 
Erin O'Brien
When I was 17, we had righteous midnight movies. About 900 kids would pile into the theatre to watch “Woodstock” or “Quadrophenia” or “Gimme Shelter,” although the movie was a secondary detail. The party was the primary draw. In 1982, you could load up your macramé mega-purse with contraband and walk right into the theater. No one cared. The movie people basically sold out the show, shut the doors and looked the other way.
Everyone drank: flasks of blackberry brandy and Southern Comfort, quarts of Bud. The smoke was eye-watering. Three-foot tall bong? No problem.
“Hey, man, you want to do one of these?” said He as he held up a shiny candy-like capsule in front of Her.
“Sure, man,” answered She, an array of feathered roach-clips dangling from Her bandana headband.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is not an exaggeration!
The light from the projection booth shone eerily through the haze of pot and cigarette smoke, but Roger Daltry’s image always survived, ten feet tall and bellowing. We won’t get fooled again and with a little help from my friends and just another brick in the wall.
“Cool, man.”
Occasionally, a horror-fest usurped Mick Jagger and co., which brings me to “The Wizard of Gore.” Filmed in 1968 by gore-fest master Herschell Gordon Lewis and released in 1970, it is one of the campiest cult films of all time.
There was something downright romantic about sitting in the cloudy theatre, my Jordache jeans nearly cutting off my circulation as Montag the Magnificent punch-pressed a woman to death.
I squinted at the screen. “Are those chicken guts?” I asked my compatriot.
“Dunno,” she answered while inhaling mightily on a joint. “But looks like the shit’s tied onto her with the straps they use to bundle newspapers. Here,” she offered me the butt, “have another hit.”
“Yeah, man.”
Fake heads rolled. Blood sprayed over those mod outfits. False eyelashes framed frantic, soon-to-be lifeless eyes. It was beautiful, really. The perfect movie jewel in the frenetic cluster of my bedazzled teenaged nights.
I loved “The Wizard of Gore,” but had nearly forgotten it until a couple of days ago when I pulled up a short story I’d written years ago. It was set in a drive-in movie theatre, for which I chosen “Wizard of Gore,” as the feature movie.
“Wizare of Gore,” I said to my computer screen with lipid eyes and a toothy grin, then I googled the title.
And, as if I ever needed a reason to remove my pants, not only is it being remade, Crispin Glover is playing Montag. Back to the Future? Hell no, baby, this here is my ticket back to the days of Stroh’s and daisies.
I immediately scoured the Internet for clips and info while a vague voice floated in the back of my mind: is this really an appropriate use of your time Mrs. Suburban-42-Year-Old-Wife-and-Mother?
I hate that fucker.
But still, there was another seed of doubt. Will the remake just make me maudlin? Glover is one year older than me. What if he looks like an old guy? What if I can’t stomach the gore? What if the movie is a massive failure?
Now, I realize if I plied myself with Mother’s Herb and beer, none of these things would come to fruition. But the fucker voice referenced above has a point. Getting busted with grass at age 42 is downright embarrassing.
Somebody pass the Prozac.
“Yeah, man. Cool.”
***************
Some vids on this subject:
Trailer for the original movie (mandatory).
Crispin Glover on David Letterman in 1987 (highly recommended):
Trailer for the remake (recommended).
Posted in Art, Daily Life, Erin, Guest Blog, Horror, Music, Pop. Culture | 
21 Comments »
April 10th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
I am honored to offer my brains for your eating pleasure. Please enjoy eating my brains as I have enjoyed your brains.
Eating brains is good!
April 10th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
I’d much rather see this than Grindhouse. Of course, best would be to see it stoned, which just isn’t possible these days. But at least here in Austin I can see it at the Alamo Drafthouse, which sells drinks and food and serves you in the theater.
Erin, honey, I think there is a serious roadtrip in your future when this baby comes out. Bring Sparky.
April 10th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
[...] Guest Blog: Crispin Glover walk with me, or… [...]
April 10th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
And such yummy brains they are. Thanks for sharing them, Erin.
April 10th, 2007 at 6:57 pm
MM: Me and Sparky on a roadtrip. THAT is scarier than The Wiz’s human punch press.
Guest Blog automated comment: I see it didn’t take long for this post to garner an automated link to some geek horror movie site. Please do not tell anyone that I had to show the site administrator my breasts in order to garner this honor.
Morgan: Quite generous of me too, considering how very few brains I have.
April 10th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Oh man, with such brains as these, how do I dare offer my own humble cranium?
I’ve got **mumble** years on you, Erin, but I remember movies like that. Not Wizard of Gore, but everything else exactly like that. I wonder if the remake will make it to San Francisco’s art houses? Not that I could get Sarcasm Girl to go see it, but maybe the Spouse? Or maybe I need to come to Austin too…
April 10th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Mad! Come to Austin! Bring Spouse! Bring the girls, Sarcasm and Young! It would be a blast! If you come when Amy and Erin are here, you and spouse can have one bedroom, Amy and Erin can fight about who gets the futon on the frame and who has to take the futon on the floor in the other guest bedroom and the girls can camp on couches and stuff!
April 10th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
I’ll be damned, Erin. I’ve always believed that the Sixties ended in 1976. I’m delighted to hear otherwise. Looks like they lasted until at least 1982.
Needless to say, I also have fond memories of tons of horror movies, though, from looking at HGL’s filmography, the only one of his that I actually remember seeing is ’2,000 Maniacs’. Which has the infamous thumb-cutting-off scene.
I once took a girlfriend to see Wes Craven’s ‘Last House on the Left‘ for a late night showing at the Metropolitan in Houston.
I have weird split memories of it. I clearly remember that she got mad at me, about a third of the way through, for taking her to see such violent trash, and walked out.
I also remember seeing the rest of the movie.
Surely I wasn’t so shallow that I let her get herself home while I stayed to finish the show….
I know that, at the time, ‘Last House’ was considered way over the edge shocking. It would probably look quaint and feeble now.
Wikipedia says that it follows the plotline of Bergman’s ‘The Virgin Spring’ and that some critics consider it to be a serious artistic statement — which once again confirms what a cultured and discerning guy I am.
*
I’m glad you’re getting your no-pants remake, incidentally!
The big horror movie I’m looking forward to now is ‘World War Z’, if they don’t screw it up.
April 10th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
Maureen and Mad: It will be a Girl Pilgrimage. A trip from all points to Austin. A tufting and quilting of the map, a trip of import and a denotation of freedom. And no one may report back to my husband regarding my incidental indiscretions–and they will be incidental.
Mr. Harper,
I love you.
I have taken residence with a good family in Boston. The man is quick to joke and soft of hand. The mother is sympathetic to a girl in my situation.
It is not easy, as I’m sure you understand.
I help cure the beef and brew the beer. The stable man is tempting, but doesn’t bother me much. Much.
I miss you.
Please continue sending letters to the Third Party.
Yours always darling,
Erin.
April 10th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
Erin — The stolen moments and hidden glances will have to be enough. I beg you to destroy my missives, as it would cause you terrible difficulties if they fall into the wrong hands.
To Infinity and Beyond,
Rory
******
April 11th, 2007 at 7:33 am
Oh sure, Harper, just leave me with oily fingers and his slutbag wife while you’re off skipping barefoot over hill and dale with your guitar.
Fine. I want the Strumminator back!
April 11th, 2007 at 9:27 am
My own favorite Crispin Glover scene is from Jim Jarmusch’s DEAD MAN (starring Johnny Depp; soundtrack by Neil Young):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW3DYS_lPb4
I don’t think Mr. Glover “acts.” I think they just put a camera on him and see what happens . . .
April 11th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Incidentally, in case somebody here has been living in their basement without net connectivity for the past few months, on May 11 comes ’28 Weeks Later’, which is the sequel to ’28 Days Later’.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Weeks_Later
I’ve always had the greatest reverence for George Romero, but I gotta admit that I come down on the ‘fast’ side of the ‘fast zombies’ vs. ‘slow zombies’ argument.
Here’s the definitive take on that issue, ‘Night of the Zombie’, which someone here already posted. Was it Morgan?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2J6gbw1nrJ8
That said, I also plan to enjoy the remake of ‘Day of the Dead’:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObYs3q4ix2o
Because we all know which side of the ‘slow zombies’ vs. ‘no zombies’ argument I come down on.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Bradley: No small detail that Depp’s character is from *ahem* Cleveland in that scene. Fine excerpt and now I’m going to rent it.
Mr. Harper: Fast virus, slow zombies. Not good, but somehow disturbingly familiar to me. What does this impart about my character.
Maybe its because I paid to see “Dawn of the Dead” as a midnight movie and the slow zombie depicted in that YouTube looks a whole lot like a regular drunk.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
You were never 17. You were 16 1/2 and then you were 18. 17 only happens in the movies.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Hey, this post is groovy man, know what I’m say’n, I mean I can dig it, feel me.
April 11th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
Yes, O’Brien. 1982. I think that brought tears to my eyes. Beer, dope, and “Jimi Hendrix.” We were from the same ethnic group I see. WHERE WERE YOU, HOTTIE?! Cleveland or something? Damn it.
April 12th, 2007 at 5:58 am
hahaha Erin, “Getting busted with grass at age 42 is downright embarrassing”… but only if your kids are around and see it
April 12th, 2007 at 7:29 am
Farouk: I was 17 for exactly 4 hours, the ones surrounding the “Wizard of Gore” movie experience. Strange thing, though, the beer and drugs distorted those four hours into 13 and a half months. True, man. True.
Vince: I do feel you, man. I do. But why is it I had to wait months and months, then offer my brain in order to lure you back into the blogosphere?
Norm: Cleveburg, that’s where I am, where I was and where I will always be (unlike our baseball team). Purple haze, man. Yeah.
Mone: People often comment on my rosy complexion, I tell them it’s just that I’m always doing embarrassing things. Erf, man. Erf.
April 12th, 2007 at 10:55 am
I’m wondering if anyone has ever done a video mashup of The Wizard of Gore with An Inconvenient Truth.
I’m afraid to look.
April 12th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
Steven: Hm. How about “Fast Food Nation” and “Wizard of Gore?” Sort of fitting for a group of people who have invited everyone to eat their brains, don’t you think?
Oh yes, Come enjoy a heaping helping of Yul Brynner over at my place.