Bullet In Your Gun
December 11th, 2006 by 
Rory Harper
Caroline wounded me unto my very intestines when she commented about middle-aged men dwelling on the past, when I remastered the Tappan King song, a relic of glorious days gone. It was awful, and I’m sure that she was appropriately remorseful the moment she posted it.
I quote:
“Hmmmm, Rory, I think navel-gazing absorption in past activities is the very definition of middle-aged goofiness.
And female bass players do rock. Our cross is that we just have to put up with the guitarists’ wanking.”
So, I decided it was time to do some new wanking.
I spent the entire evening making a song, just for her. But not about her.
As writers, we don’t show our first drafts around much, because the voice in our head tells us just how bad we suck. This can degenerate to the point that we don’t show last drafts around, either. Because, if we do, our friends and colleagues will suddenly realize just how stupid and talentless we actually are. And we will no longer even be able to deny it to ourselves. My Inner Critic got so strong for so long that I quit writing for nearly a decade. My Inner Critic was powerful enough to stop me before I even began.
I’m over that now.
You’re supposed to play it loud.
This is the first draft of the song. Maybe it sucks; I don’t care. I’m telling my Inner Critic to go to hell, because the final draft will rock. I’m publicly establishing the baseline for this project.
Since 6 pm, I’ve laid down a MIDI drum track, duplicated it so that two drum programs would play different tones, laid down a rhythm guitar track, sang, laid down a bass track, laid down a lead guitar track, and then started to effect and edit the various tracks. I did a rough balance, but it is not mixed or mastered in any significant sense.
It was a blast.
My Inner Critic sat in the corner and whimpered throughout.
The lead guitar playing is pretty lame, and the solo was so incompetent that it fucked up the rest of the song, so I muted it. Will do a decent one soon. I overplayed throughout. It ends abruptly.
Oh, yeah, my voice does suck terminally. Even after Auto-Tuning it. I don’t need an Inner Critic to tell me that.
….If only I knew some singers, who could do decent vocals…
….Maybe a chick singer would sound good on this one.
Oh, Caroline?……
:
(This post is raw first draft, too. Go blow yourself, Inner Critic.)
Posted in Caroline, mp3, Music, Rory | 
13 Comments »
December 11th, 2006 at 9:44 am
The first line is great (once I understood it):
I can really see it rocking out with full band and full chorus on the, er, chorus.
Vocals need something cause my old ears are having real troubles understanding the lyrics. And you play leads right over them.
Guitarists!
Title is not, “The Metaphor Song.” Title is something like “Bullet for your Gun.”
December 11th, 2006 at 10:00 am
Whoah! The actual line is ‘shiny smell’. But I’m changing it RIGHT NOW! That’s perfect!
On the voice thing — yeah, it’s weird. This morning I can barely hear my vocal. Last night it sounded upfront and in-your-face.
But I was getting kinda woozy after seven straight hours going at it.
First draftitis….
December 11th, 2006 at 10:45 am
It rocks, Harper.
December 11th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
Rory, you suggested I bring my voice up in the mix, and you buried yours. Like Steven, I couldn’t understand the lyrics. Your singing reminds me of Lou Reed on this one, and you should take advantage of your baritone and make it rumble, close to the mike and whispery-like. The fact that Caroline inspired you to write something new means she provoked the artist in you. I agree with her about all the guitarists’ wanking, though. Why do you think we stroke those wooden necks? We’re boys! That’s what we do!
December 11th, 2006 at 12:47 pm
All you boys who choke the chicken, you are going to hell.
December 11th, 2006 at 1:06 pm
Yup, vocals need boosting, but I was kinda diggin’ the way you sounded all Lou Reed-ish. Very nice guitar wanking. Keep at it, Rory, and quit listening to the Inner Critic — know-nothing, hyper-crical, judgmental dickheads that they all are.
December 11th, 2006 at 1:10 pm
Yeah, David, ya got me on the voice thing. I honestly did hear myself very high in the mix last night, with the guitars not so high. Even after burning to MP3. This morning — inaudible. WTF?
One of the reasons I suggested bringing you up in your mix is that your voice is way better than mine….
Steve — Yeah, them Bastard Fairies have definitely tapped into my zeitgeist.
December 11th, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Casey — Yup, on the Lou Reed. If I get real close to the mic, which triggers proximity effect, I can even get a little into Leonard Cohen range. He’s basically got the sound of God’s Voice nailed.
But I wanna do that full-throat 757-lifting-off rock ‘n roll thing, especially in the choruses.
And I don’t think that’s in the cards……
December 11th, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Rory, the Burning Angel of eat our brains.
December 11th, 2006 at 6:06 pm
I spend one day away and look at what happens. Sheesh.
And the vocals do need to come up in the mix, Rory. But you sound good on them.
December 11th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
Needs real drums. (MIDI, for all its usefulness, has no dynamics.)
Otherwise, a swell song. Bring it next time the Baby gets together.
December 11th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
If you haven’t yet, you need to read Rory’s SF novel, PETROGYPSIES. He really is an amazing and talented entity.
December 11th, 2006 at 11:12 pm
Thanks for the comments, guys! I just now woke up, have had the flu for awhile, came home this afternoon after lunch and passed out until a few minutes ago.
Anyhow, we’ll see how this thing progresses. I’ve definitely got a lot of work to do on it. I’ll probably do a small post of draft v1.5 next weekend. At least fix up vocals and guitar some.
Brad — Yep, it could benefit from having a real drummer play on it. Do we know anyone like that?